Don’t you wish you had a tape recorder in your head? Or a microchip that would send the thoughts you wanted to your computer or other electronic device which you could then access and keep documentation of? I constantly write poetry in my head and I very much forget the words and the rhythm, sometimes the whole thing just slips away from me, which is tragic. Knowing you created an illustration of your thoughts using words of emotions and colors and places only to rationally know it’s had been lost to the dark recesses of your mind, probably the words unstuck together due to the interrupting of other passing thoughts and ideas, never to be puzzled back together in the original format from whence they came. But perhaps because it’s ink came from a dark patch of the soul and was penned in the ever changing mind, it was not meant to come to light, to leave the realm of the intangible and be translated to a reality in which it is exposed, open for all to see and witness and read and judge. Perhaps it was meant to be created and then disappear.
For now I am left bereft, unsure of how to feel.
Just aching to touch the words again.
Or wanting to revel in letting them go.
That urge to write and put down all your thoughts and feelings on paper but for some reason you’re blocked. And at the same time you’re blocked in real life. Mentally blocked. Can’t make any decisions. Just one thought after another passing through your mind, circling around your brain, pulling you this way and that. And all you want to do is breathe. But you can’t really breathe either because you try to tune the world out to process, and you go numb. Like the pause button is pressed and then you can’t even think about what you should be and making a decision.